Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Story Of A Two-Faced Person

The title sure are interesting isn't it? I'm sure many people out there would be wondering what or who is this two-faced person. Well, guess what, this "two-faced person" is around us, they're in our community! Let me correct things here, this "two-faced person" is not a person with two-heads back when they were given birth, no! It's just a metaphor. Nowadays, people recognize this "two-faced person" as "Backstabbers"!

Now, lets hear my story about this "two-faced person". But let me clear something here. Been approach or approaching this kind of people is a nightmare because "they" usually among the people that we know, the people that we trust, the people that we have faith with, the people we call as "Friends", once. So, the experience is totally unpleasant. The feeling of anger, sadness, mistreat and the most painful; our trust with these people been brutally stomp like its nothing.

My first experience been back-stab by my own friend is back when I am in high school. Back then, I have to admit, I am way to naive. Once I meet a new friends, without question, I will totally trust him/her. Its because  I never-ever think that they would do such bad thing to their own friends, in short, I mirror them like myself. I thought If I treat them like this, nicely and friendly, they will do the same. But, I am wrong after all. When we trust somebody, it means that there is nothing to hide from them. Be it maybe our own secrets, something private, something that only "We" should know and etc. But this backstabber, they sure know what they are doing. Firstly, they will "leak" your secret behind you. Then, they will talk bad stuff about you and again, behind you also. Their action surely makes other people look negatively upon you because this "backstabber" do add some additional fake info's that make us look bad with stuff that we never did.

So, my question here. What do you feel when something like this happen. Let me give some examples. Let say that your father or mother is an alcoholic and you're like 15 - 17 years old. Immature enough to think it maturely. You hide this fact because you're ashamed for the ugly truth. You're embarrassed that if all people know, they will talk bad stuff about your family for example ; *whispering : hey, look, thats Irwan right, did you know, that his mother/father is an alcoholic? (gossip do happen). Well, as a teenager, I cannot say much but a teenager usually cannot accept the bad stuff that happen around them. They will usually blame themselves for whatever happen. So, its embarrassing for them and they would prefer to hide it; make it quiet. What about some more serious issue. What if for examples ; *hey, do you know that his father addict to drug before and sent to jail for 10 years?
 When we have problems, we usually tend to speak it out and talk with our best friends. But what if that "Best Friends" is actually a "devil" that like to see other people in suffer? Think about it. Been Back-stab sure are worse than been bully. 
What happen to me is not this serious that involves families, no. Oh, one more thing. Usually, those who have rank, those who have position in a community tend to be back-stab by their own people, this is so true. This is because some people only wanting to be friend with you because of what you have. Think about it. Just be careful.
So, I will not leave the post with nothing. I will provide some tips for handling this "two-faced person". My advice for those who have been back-stab is that, please, please and please, don't be sad. I know it is painful because I've been there. Don't be overcome by this back-stabber, instead, prove yourself to them that you are way better than them. Have faith in yourself. 

Identify Their Behavior!
If you keep a close watch, you will know which one of your colleagues or your friends may be the back-stabbers. A two-faced person may look extra cautious or courteous but there must be something ominous about him/her. They would be the ones who would be eager to take credits for other people and jump at the first chance of belittling others. Knowing the backstabbers will help you to be vigilant and watchful.
Don't Be Naive!
Remember that no matter how good you may be, being naive will only work against you. Know the players and play wise. Don't trust everyone and what they say. As if you put too much trust in someone and that backfires, you are also to be blame by the backbiter. You can ask advice, talk to people but never in any case share your secrets with your colleagues or friends until you have tested the water.
Always Be Alert
The backbiters act mostly when you are least vigilant. So be alert. Don't overlook the dent a backstabber can make. Don't try to change their behavior as they are least likely to change. Backstabbing is an easy way out and also it's better to change ourselves than to wait them to change.
Be A Team Player
It goes without saying. When you are helpful and ready to lend a hand, others will support you when you need them. When you are team player and ever ready to help others, very few people think of harming you. If you want support of other people, you need to be a team player.
Guard Your Repute
Guard your reputation zealously if you want the backstabbers to keep away from you. Make a wall around yourself and let others know that penetrating behind your comfort-zone will not be well received. It doesn't mean you become snooty or pretentious, it just means that you don't give people reason to betray you.
Keep Your Composure
Don't get all worked up even when you are backstabbed. Backstabbing is not a pleasant experience especially when you hear the fabricated story about you. However, you need to keep cool, and don't let it get to you.Remember the Oscar Wilde's saying, "Forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them much". Stick to this phrase like your apostle.
Take The High Road
Never in any case, sink to their level to get with them. There won't be any difference between you and them then. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". Hurling abuses at your backstabber will only make situation worse. If you want, confront them. However, be composed and get out of the argument, before it gets dirty.
Learn The Survival Tactics
Running away from the situation is no solution. Learn to handle the backstabbers in your own ways. Make more friends at work and keep away from back bitters. Don't speak negative about the backbiters. Stay pleasant and use specific language in handling them. Always stand straight and keep one foot slightly ahead of other as this help you pose confidently. Don't take backbiting personally and keep yourself strong and confident.
Well, that concludes "The Story Of A Two Faced-Person".
If you have any story to tell, or any correction to make with any error that I did or to add anything, simply email me : Lockheart91@gmail.com

A Fresh Start

I think its time for me to re-start my blogging activities. I don’t have anything to do anyway and typing is still one of my hobbies these days. But there are some complications… It’s my Internet Connection! This “thing” is killing me softly. But nothing can stop me. I know that my blog is totally unpopular and I don’t think I have any subscriber or viewers for the time being, but giving up is not an option in my life. Plus, starting over is like a rebirth for me. I will have some changes this time. I will pick an interesting topic to share or debate with, topics that’s inspiring, topics that make people realize something and so much more. Some people will ask me, why choose the title “Stories Of Life” for your blog? Why don’t you use “Irwan John’s Life” or “Real Life Events” like I do before? Well, the answer is pretty simple actually. “Stories Of Life” means something that really happen in human life and this time, this stories is not only meant about my life but its also for others that live in this earth with their own experiences; their story of life to be untold. But for now, I hope that I can make it right this time. The theme is quite interesting, but I hope that I can grapple with this theme by time to time. Moreover, my story of life will surely be one of the main story in this blog. If there is anyone that is willing to share their Story of life with me, kindly e-mail me ; Lockheart91@gmail.com.

From time to time, each man will grow and learn many new experiences.
Neither good story nor a bad story will be one of them.
 Thus, from all of this, each one of man will have their own story; the story of life.
Therefore, here I am as one of the man in the world to share my story of life.

P/s: I will be posting a Malay Language post as well in future and I have to remove my old Blog cause of some unexplained factor.